If only..

I can't believe that it is April 4. 

I have been working all day long.  I am tired.   The kids are out of school for spring break.  They are tired.  

Seems like there are so many things to do, but just not enough time in the day. 

I love nights.  I love when Lyla gets tired because she says "Elmo" and then runs to her spot on the couch.  She gets her blanket and binky and settles in.   She quietly watches Elmo regardless of what is happening around her.  Then her binky falls out of her mouth and she drifts off to sleep.   I carry her to bed and tell her that she is the best baby.   If only... falling asleep was that easy. 

I love when the other kids get cozy on the couch downstairs and they are all under the same blanket, they have chosen a movie that they all have agreed on.  They are clean and they are exhausted from playing with friends and playing outside all day long.   I love the way that they all get confused when taking them to their beds.  Alysa tried to walk upstairs, Max tried to go into the bathroom and lay on the floor and Ryan doesn't move.    If only....  I could get cozy on the couch downstairs and take my TV away from upstairs. 

I love that it is 11:13 at night and I am eating brownies and ice cream.  If only... I could have eaten them earlier. 

I just looked at the DVR and I have 5 American Idols, 4 Biggest Losers, 3 Dr. Oz, 5 Smash, 4 Desperate Housewives,  and 10 Project Runways that I need to watch.  If only... I could watch them and delete.  

Yesterday, my washing machine just decided to stop working in the middle of a load.  It was kinda rude of it to do that.  I looked up the possible problems on the internet and found that it probably is the lid switch.  We took it apart, found the part and ordered one online for $7.95.   Good thing I did 20 loads of laundry last week.   If only..  the part would make it here earlier than 2 days. 

I decided that it was time for me to start running.  I loaded the Couch 2 5k app and set out on my run/walk.   I took all of the kids and the dog.  It was lovely.  I decided I could do that again.  I have been out every other day since.  It is lovely.   If only... my ankles weren't hurting right now and when I walk.  Hopefully, I just need to get used to my shoes and my new found love of running.  

I started studying for the LSAT.  I decided that I want to take the LSAT and go to law school.   I have been taking a kaplan class and learning the tricks of the test.  I go to class every monday night. I have been 2 times.  i like it and think that I can catch on.   The best thing about this new step is that I don't have to find a job when I have done.  I already have one.   I study during the night after the kids go to bed and sometimes I don't even realize what time it is.   I have been going to bed at around 2:00 a.  If only...  I could have a few more hours to study during the day.  (especially since the test is in the morning).

I never buy myself anything at the grocery store to eat.  I always buy all fo the kids stuff, but not me.  If only.... I would learn that I like to eat a lot of different things that Eric and the kids.  

I have diagnosed myself with a nightshade plant allergy.  This means that I am alergic to Potatoes, tomatoes, eggplant, peppers and the spices that go with them.  My ankles and wrists have been hurting so bad that I can't move them.  it is kind of an arthritis pain.  It is hard to walk up the stairs and my wrists hurt really bad when I make pancakes.  I couldn't figure this out.   jen called me one morning and said that she found out my problem.and told me of the nighshade allergy.  I decdided that I would elimiate all of these products.  Magically, my wrists and ankles felt better!  Hooray.   I started introducing these things back in.  Potatoes...  a little pain.  peppers.. I don't eat them enough to care.   eggplant... same as peppers.  now comes tomatoes..  the next day - oh the pain.   Must be this.   I haven't eaten anything tomato for a few weeks and am seeming to feel better.   Hooray for Jen, the internet and self diagnosis.   if only... I could find no-mato sauce at the store rather than only on the internet.
    
As I look around my house today, the kids things are everywhere.  If only.. the kids could figure out how to clean up after themselves.  

I am watching one episode of American Idol.  I have to clean my house tomorrow because my sisters are coming. 

if only..... I didn't have to sleep.  If I could stay up all night long for a few days, everything would be caught up and done.